Stupid Things and Redemption

We all do stupid things. Let’s face it. I try to learn from mine and not repeat them. What better way to do that than share with my readers some of my recent FAILS??

A Spicy Fail
After cooking a nice dinner that included pasta (who would have guessed) and a sauce that was kickin’ with some hot green pepper, I passed out while awaiting the landlord who never came. Upon awakening and not being sure of what was going on, the only thing I did know was that my contacts needed to come out. Nothing worse than dry, spot-welded-on contacts upon awaking from a surprise nap. So I stumbled into the bathroom and proceeded to touch my eyeball with unwashed spicy fingers, bringing on a nice wholesome burning sensation. I then washed my hands quickly before flushing the eye with warm water. Okay, all better. I then went to take the other one out and it also burned quite nicely despite the hand washing. I couldn’t help but feel like the guy my dad always told us about at work who, while showing the officials how he lost his finger in some machinery, lost another finger mimicking the motion.

A Stinky Fail
No, this has nothing to do with the infamous PCV GI tract. I was cooking some beans and skyping, which is something I often do (since the beans take so long to cook). But for some reason the water evaporated faster than normal and a terrible smell filled the whole apartment. Beans kind of stink anyway when you cook them, but when you burn them they smell really bad! So not only did I waste a good pot of beans that I had nurtured all day soaking and then cooking, I was also a hungry dude feeling the pangs of failure in between stomach growls.

My contacts are back to normal and feel great, Evelyn invited me over for a delicious dinner right after the bean incident, and the Cardinals are going to the World Series. Life is good!


2 Responses to “Stupid Things and Redemption”

  1. Wayne Burt Says:

    Never had any of those experiences and I guess I won’t experience a Red Sox and Cardinals WS either,

  2. icenugget Says:

    Wayne, 2004 seems way too fresh in my memory. I hope there isn’t another Sox Cards WS for a while!

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