Searching for my Fingerprints

fingerprint3Hello again! I write today with a weight lifted from my mind. Today I mailed off the second half of my application. This packet included all sorts of juicy information, including skill addenda, official transcripts, fingerprints, and more. I received the packet around February 25th. The PC gatekeeper suggested I get it in before March 20th to remain competitive for the next round of exports. So, it took me a couple weeks to get everything together. One of the main hangups for me was the whole fingerprint thing.

You see, I was involved in an industrial-strength sanding incident when I was 18, which completely erased my fingerprints. The legend is that this accident is the reason for my freakishly soft “man” hands. And I used the term man lightly!

Seriously, I just had a bit of difficulty finding a time and location to get the prints done. One day after work I moseyed on over to the downtown STLPD. As if to fulfill all my stereotypes, from behind a large desk, a small man with gray hair, glasses, and a well-kept gray moustache asked what I needed. “Fingerprints? We only do those from 8:00-3:30 on Tuesdays and Thursdays,” he responded. It was 4:30. I decided I didn’t want to quit my job to get fingerprints done, so I resorted to plan B.

The second place on my list, a mysterious establishment named merely Special Services, was convenient enough with its downtown location. However, they wanted $30 for the service. After converting that to Jr. Roast Beefs ($30 = slightly more than 25 Jr. Roast Beefs), the decision was simple.

Finally I landed upon the St. Louis County PD. Located in Clayton, I had to navigate rush hour traffic, find a parking spot, and improvise on outdated website instructions only to slip in right before the office closed. Whew! For a thrifty $6, I got all the fingerprints a guy could ever want. The best part was the grainy orange pump soap they had to get the ink off. I think that stuff could remove a tattoo! I should try it on the large mole on my arm…

Now that I’ve grossed you out, I will let you go. I am hoping to get an interview with the regional PC person at WashU before March is up!


One Response to “Searching for my Fingerprints”

  1. Peter Says:

    “Could you open the window? The police have daddy’s fingerprints on file.”

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